I am Too Tired

I am too tired to write

I am too tired to fight

For my existence,

My seat at the table.

You say I’m only allowed

If I follow your rules:

To be quiet

To be nice

To be the pretty girl

You expect me to be.

 

But obscenities

Roll off my tongue

As do my opinions

About everything you don’t want to hear.

My hair is too short,

And I shouldn’t flaunt

My differences.

 

Does my existence make you uncomfortable?

Are you bothered by the fact

That I do not live by your rules,

Your desires,

Your beliefs?

Do I rub your face

In my existences, neither boy nor girl

And you cannot name

What I really am?

 

Why is it so hard

For you to accept

And why do I have to keep fighting

To be who I am?

I am so tired of explaining

I am so tired of defending

I am so tired of being questioned

Being ignored

Being belittled

Being dismissed

As crazy or stupid

Or as a destroyer of society.

 

All I want is my right to exist

To not have to play the game

Every single day

To appease your homophobia

Doing all this crap

Is just exhausting.

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